.: Recuperating :.

todae was lek lek..woke up at nine plus plus..gitu je la..

had initial plans to study actually..but due to sum funny reason or another, just couldn't bring myself to..but at least i covered a few stuff..well, thats a start..looking to finish it up later..

then dad ajak me to go to funan ctr..to look for a cover for my pda..in the end,tkde..lain benda lak aku yg beli..got speakers n cd-r for my sistas...n oso had to blanja mkn at cavana..well..tkpe la..masih ade duit belen per..rezeki dorang..showed mum which lappy i was getting..n she said it was nice..ahaha..

actually half the time i was looking stoned as i went shop to shop..dunno y..jus a few moments from sat went thru mi mind..replayin..mum said i looked sad..of which i cud oni give a weak smile..ya, kadang2 i think im getting the looks of a mental patient too..think mum figures out that im going thru a bad patch..but cant fig out wat..kinda feel bad making her feel that way..

i remember a few things u said on sat..the way u said it..jus brought a few smiles in me..maybe, due to that reason..i kinda expected too much to happen in our first mtg together..maybe, i was jus afraid that i will make the same mistake i did b4 when i went for it too fast n ended up heart-broken again...

i miself dunno y im making miself feel this way..

nvrtheless, i sumhow felt relieved when u finally msged me..a wee bit relieved..but then again,i do hope that this isnt the end of everything..sumhow sumwhere..there's this negative thought in me thinkin that things will jus stop..n hang there..

sumtime, i jus feel that if i didnt meet u..this whole mess wouldn't happen to me..

but then again, at the very least i got to see you..and at the very least, i have the memories of yr voice in my mind to appease me now..and at least, i tried and didnt need to worry abt "what wud have happened?" kinda scenario..

i'll jus take it as this..di sebalik ape2 yg terjadi, ader hikmahnya..i'm too tired to think of anithing else to fully explain the crapness i'm feeling rite now..n i got other things to worry about too..like skewl,family, MS n well...anithng else

i dun think this feeling of crapness wud go away that soon..but wat the heck..at least, im trying to get out of it..

Peace out..no comments..still feeling crappy..albeit a bit less :)