.: Nothing ever stays the same, Times change..ppl change..will intentions change??? :.

life has a funny way to remind u of who u actually are..n wat u need 2 do at the most unlikeliest times..

today didnt start great i had to admit..although it was nice to meet the part of the old gang, came to a realisation that things were not really turning out as planned..which is kinda saddening actually when u think of wat u actually wanted to achieve when u joined in the ferst place..

nvrtheless..werk is werk..while it was fun catching up wif old mates..jus felt that odd communication breakdown sumwhere sumhow which i cudnt really point the finger at jus now..wassit because we didnt meet 4 so long oreadie? or issit jus that our interests have changed? making us feel otherwise too?

i tried 2 rectify the situation nonetheless..but overall i kinda felt awkward n alienated at sum point of time..but well..overall it was nice to meet old frens again,,shud try to do it more often sumtime..mebbe that cud help..mebbe..tried 4 another shot at my lucky start..but well..didnt pay off..got down again...didnt have the mood to eat lunch..

i skipped my biochem lect jus to b wif my old frens..had a meet up wif mar wif hope to get things going 4 iftar..met abu which was kinda funny too..sumhow, i think ppl look at me differently the moment they knew i was in exco..

oh well..nvr mind,.went 4 thermo ALONE..then algo..tried to print sum stuff but of all times my cashcard had to FAIL!!! grr..u see how my day was developing???? ya..went 4 my biochem n my bio tuts empty-handed..

tkfully..the new tutor is gd..at least i cud understand wat she was saying..compared to the bald prof from china yg syok sendiri..nvrtheless, bio has alwaes needed a lot of reading up to fully understand concepts n such..

met afis..told him abt mi plans..actually managed to say hi to shikins n maz..oh well..then accompanied pk pres 4 a while as i waited 4 darnie to finish his stuff n settle this "get it done wif perbayu" thingy...went to j.p wif family as dad fetched me..siblings had dinner at j.p while i missed out as i ate my lunch at 6...then went home..so ya..this is where things get interesting..

over in all..if u read the past wk..i've not been in exactly gd mood lately due to certain things that have happened to me..while i have alwaes pretended n assumed that i was ok..deep down inside, i knew i wasnt..n i knew inside my head that i was gettin out of hand..and was in danger of gettin out of hand if i continued my life this way..n i was ever to take up another commitment to add up to those that i already have now..

it is here that i thank a brother of mine who sent me off at the bus-stop..i thank u for enlightening me on wat needed to b done on mi side..cos all this while, i've always thought otherwise..when u think abt it..for a person who is not well-versed in religion like me..i was wondering how the heck did i ever got in this place..n oso partially understood on how actually the way i was brought up made me be who i am now..

when u think abt it..we are part of HIS greater plans..and its far too difficult for us to comprehend..

as i strolled ard j.p..i kinda c the pieces coming together..times change..the needs of people change..n sumhow i cud understand y my frens n i were beginning to reflect the causes of which we individually wanted to fight for...jus a fwe diff ways..n yet so difficult to compromise.. are we blinded by our egos till we do not see where our intentions lie???

i dun wanna say animore bec i miself am facing the same prob on my homefront..sigh..how easily we are clouded...jus to satisfy our selfish desires..

its the same wif her..when i thought abt it..my nawaitu sendiri went away..when i think abt it again, i lost focus n cudn't realise that it was jus not the appropriate time..jus cant blive how far i had fallen all this while and not realisin it till now..im sure religion has a way..but 4 now..its jus a big fat NO...

i need 2 change... for the better

ironic as it may sound..i think im the one that needs 2 develop most now..its been too long that im complaining n jus tryin to get settled down n not movin on..

for all actions r judged according to intentions..how true..

im walking away frm sthing i've alwaes felt for now..im not ready n i miself admit it..but all this while i thank u for alwaes helpin me in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t....n 4 encouraging me n helpin me all this while..im the one not worthy of u...

jus wanna walk away now..i know it hurts but well..if its gonna make me learn going thru this pain n make me a better person..let it be..let it be,,,

nawaitu..nawaitu..so easily i was clouded by my own selfish needs..

so im walking away...so let me be...let me be..

im so sorry..4 miself..and for u..

For Allah s.w.t does not impose on HIS servants more than wat they can bear

jus hoping that i can get miself up again..

Wallahu'alam... :)

For all actions r judged according to intentions...

how true..how true..

Peace..out..pls..let it be...let it be..