.: To be or not to be? :.

had a few quiet moments to miself these past few days..been spending time wif mum, going out too...jus to hear her side of de story and the share the burden that she's carrying in light of recent happenings..

asking for pity? no...stimes, theres oni so much pity that one can ask for..right now, thankfully the situation is not as bad as i thought it was, but it cud b better..i dont tink going into detail our different upbringing would make a difference as all of us have different characters..i choose to instead look into the future and i hope i can do sthing abt it..or at least listen to her on a lot more occasions..

niwaes, the topic is enuff to bring me down..i wanna think abt sthing else..

on a reflection basis..its gonna b the 3rd syura later today, where the main core of the 19th will be selected..and while Im sumhow very reluctant to actually continue my term, I realised that most of my life's happier moments were found in MS..looking at pelangi, rebutia, itqan, yls, FOC'04...many things came to mind..Sumtimes, I wonder wat person I'd have turned out to be if Abdullah Alhadad didnt invite me to pelangi as a faci n taste its sweetness of doing work for Allah swt..

I still think of wat might have been...otherwise i mean..

But as my fren said..That's one of the beautiful works of Allah swt..IF it is HIS will, then HE will guide U, no matter wat the circumstances are, no matter where u are, no matter how hard it is..

and im starting to realise that perhaps this is one of the few solaces that I have left in my life..that perhaps it is Allah's will that i am put here to go thru all this trials n tribulations so that I can find another purpose in mi life, n also to find sthing worthwhile to spend mi life for..other than the personal trials im facing now..

and so i shall go for the 3rd syura wif an open heart..Im leaving it to the syura comm and Allah swt as I did last yr..same place, different time..I pray that all goes well irregardless of whether Im chosen or not..This is the main brain of the 19th after all..

For me, nothin to lose..I can alwaes move on... :) to greener pastures in the field of da'wah..(and Darul Arqam realli interests me..)

Allah is never unjust in the least degree: IF there is any good (done), HE doubles it, and giveth from HIS own prescence a great reward (Al-Imran : 40)

Peace out..