.: My will may falter, but my blade will not yield.. :.

im realli drained..

bio quiz jus now was kinda merciless..dont realli wanna talk abt it..aft all was done n d effort put in it for the past few days, i realli felt as if all my brain cells jus kamikazed n there was nthin left in my encephalon..osh n hafiz went to play pool..i was staring at open space tryin to summon anythin left in me aft a draining week to figure out wat to do nxt..phew

had muhasabah on sunday..the end of it all i mus say..as i wud say in mi earlier post, given a choice, i wud rather end than continue..but such is the will of Allah swt that HE made me stay on despite mi faults n weaknesses..as each one of us were saying our piece, we were recollecting the journey that we had individually..difficulties, challenges n happy moments..n i was saying mi piece..i recollected mi own as well..tk God i didnt bring down but i tink everyone there knew i was having a hard time tryin to xpress miself..n the transition from TDO to amir now was a very trying point in mi life..given a choice, i wont want to go thru it again..i recollected that nvr was my faith so severely tested to dat point in me..N i tink the 18th felt dat too..

tues was muggin heavily day..gotta tk ilda n wani for helpin me out..i was realli lost in thiru's notes n even jus now, i was xplaining to osh n hafiz d same things that they xplained to me..lol..

things @ home are tuff..got misunderstood again by my own sister..hais, i am realli at mi wits end on how to talk to her n try to open her eyes on wats going on ard her..mum's tryin hard too..n i kinda feel bad stayin at hall not being dere to shoulder her burden w/her..tk God, she did confide in dad n i hope that both my parents can at least talk to my sister n improve d situation..Stimes, i dont even noe wat i actually did right as an eldest son of mi family..Alhamdulillah, mom is trying her best to get close to Allah swt..

personal lvl..not dat gd too, im realli bhind my workload bec i missed classes due to my wrist injury..n im gettin rashes due to irritation of nerves(According to mok)..n im actually supposed to study now but i jus cant bring miself to..shuks..as amir, pun byk benda kena buat tapi tk terbuat..and sumhow many ppl are tryin mi patience(prob steppin on it n testin its strength) tapi ape nk buat..Amir kena sabar..tkleh marah2 org kan? :)

jus praying dat things get better over d nxt fewa daes..if dey dont, at least i hope i get better..Peace out..

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad

And i was born on 13hb Muharram 1403!!! hehe..